The tradition of arranged marriages is still quite popular in India, though it is not at all easy to start with. First meetings are mostly about awkward smiles, awkward expressions and awkward silences. These meeting are very tiring and difficult to over come. You get all nervous and are never sure of what to say, what to highlight or what to underplay in your conversations. Sometimes to break down the silence one may ask a lot of inappropriate and irrelevant questions. We have come to your rescue to save you from this trouble. Following are a few questions you should never ask in the first meeting of an arranged marriage.
What is your income? Or How much do you earn?
“Do not ask a woman her age and the man his salary.” But, today, this tale has come up with a twist. Working women do not appreciate questions about their salaries too. Such questions make you seem like a person who puts money ahead of relationships and you end up making a very poor first impression. Yes! there is no harm into asking this question, but you should know when and how to put it across.
Did you have any relationship in the past?
Whenever someone ask this question, the probable answer expected in ‘no.’ But at the same time an honest reply is expected too. Whatever it might be, this question is too personal for first meeting and should be reserved for later after things seem to be a little more solid.
What is your estimated monthly expenditure?
This question is totally vague for the matchmaking process. Inquisitive about financial stability of your match is fine, but asking outright about expenses is not at all. But still, if this question is very important to you, at least rephrase it in the best possible way. You may always through questions about his or her hobbies, likes and dislike. This way you will get an insight of their lifestyle without ponder about their bank statement.
How many guy or girls did you reject this far?
You do not have to start asking absolutely irrelevant questions just because uncomfortable silences scare you. If a person is opting for arranged marriage, it is quite normal that they met quite a few people before you. Do not act dumb by asking questions like ‘how many people have you met’ or ‘how many guys/girls have you rejected’. You too are in the same coast and have a good chance of getting backfired too.
Are your parents financially dependent on you?
Do not make the mistake of asking such a question. It servers as an open invitation to be considered a control freak and money minded. This question makes you look financially stringent. Today, it is not just guys, but girls too love to take their parent’s financial responsibility on themselves with willingness in India.
How about kids? How many do you want?
Do not even consider talking about kids in the first meeting. They are arranged marriage setup and should be strictly limited to making efforts in knowing the person sitting opposite you. Throwing a direct question about how many kids the other person would like to have is absolutely irrelevant on such occasions. Come’ on! It is a sensitive topic and you need to discuss it at the right time in the right manner.
What are your views on God?
This kind of questions sounds very orthodox. The first meeting is all about understanding the personality of the person sitting in front of you. Asking someone about their belief system will make you sound judgmental and a narrow-minded individual. It wont serve any good even if the question is asked very casually.
Can you cook? Will you do it everyday?
First of all, get me an answer. Are you looking for a spouse or a cook for your home? You are in an introductory meeting and not in an interview to discuss the household chores he or she can do. If this question is asked to a working person, it is definitely not possible to come back home after work and then cook. Expecting women to do so will be foolish.
Remember that when you ask wrong questions, you will only end up making a fool of yourself and losing a good match. Step aside from making any foolish moves. Hope you end up with a wonderful person – the perfect prospective partner.